I always wonder why a client will stay with a therapist that is not a right fit. I talked with a friend today who shared a story with me. She said that she had been working with a therapist and he had been rude to her, she felt that he was disrespectful, but continued to see him for a few months. The therapist, who had recently gotten divorced, was angry and bitter, and shared with this woman some of his thoughts on women's behavior. She took his view to be that all women behave badly and things are always the woman's fault. My friend finally shared with her primary care physician that she could no longer see this therapist and asked for a referral. She is now happily with a new therapist.
I shared with her today that not all therapists are the same. We know that not one person is completely like another. That is the way God made us. Why should therapists be any different? There are different models of therapy, different styles of interventions, and there will be more on the horizon I am sure. As a therapist, I know that not one intervention or model will work for everyone, and that is why I have wanted to learn many different modalities. Looking for a therapist should be no different.
When you are looking for a therapist ask yourself some questions
Are you wanting to meet with a male or female therapist?
Are you wanting someone who has years and years of experience, or are you willing to embark on a journey of exploration with a newly practicing therapist?
What kind of interaction are you looking for in a therapist?
Have you had a bad experience in the past with a therapist and afraid to experience it again? Share that story, explain how the experience felt to you.
If you feel that the therapist may not be a good fit for you, then let the therapist know. If the therapist is a good one, he or she will completely understand. We want you to receive the best care available to you. If I am not the right fit for you, I hope you continue searching for the fit you need.